Dear constant writer;<br/><br/> Hiya, Steve! So glad to see you didn't give up after the utterly dismal Cell; Lisey's Story really is an improvement. Then again, what wouldn't be, eh?<br/><br/> Kidding, old buddy, kidding! Hey, we've been friends since I was 11, and if you can't take a joke from a friend, then what? Seriously, there are things about Lisey's Story that are quite good. You're back to ordinary people with actual depth dealing with both life and supernatural horrors, you've stopped pretending that you can still do the lean mean horror thing and tried to branch out. And never mind that you've done the whole "trapped woman has to unlock repressed memories to get herself to a place where she can save herself" thing already (Gerald's Game? Rose Madder?) because adding the age-old "creativity is a form of madness" and "there is power in language" themes is a good idea; there's definitely stuff to be explored here to which the horror form (all horror is metaphor) should lend itself perfectly well, and hey, if Buffy could make an entire episode (OK, half of one) about walking through someone's subconscious memories, then surely the Master of Horror should be able to spin it into a 666 (heh) page novel, right?<br/><br/> And yeah, there is a good novel in here someplace. The bits with the Landon family, the bits with the crazed fans, and even many of the scenes between Lisey and Scott; as smarmy as they get, it occasionally makes for some emotional stuff that adds resonance to the story even if you've done a lot better. And although I hate to remind you that (spoiler Needful Things) [hide]you killed Andy Clutterbuck 15-odd years ago[/hide], it's nice to see some of the old Castle Rock people are still around.<br/><br/> Problem is, you overexert yourself, mate. You try a little too hard to write like a Proper Literary Writer (or rather, like the popular conception of one - ie verbose, using fancy words for the sake of it, and namechecking Dostoevsky) and frankly, it gets a bit like hearing AC/DC trying to play Kind of Blue. Now, I love AC/DC, but subtle they ain't, jazz they ain't, and Stevie-baby? You're no Miles Davis. That phrase repetition thing you always do (STEVE! THE LONG BOOK!) works fine over shorter stretches, but here it wears thin before we're 1/3 through, and frankly, if I never hear the word "smucking" again, it'll be 10,000 years too soon. Jazz is all about variations on a theme, not repetition of it. And while you've always been fond of what fanfic (and possibly other amateur fiction) writers call "Mary Sue" - ie the character who is exactly like the author only more charming, more good-looking, smarter, sexier and with a Deep Dark Secret - Scott really gets too much at times. We get it, the guy's charming, Lisey loved him, now move the hell on.<br/><br/> (And also, Stevie honey sweetie? Entire fucking chapters in Comic Sans? Not OK in 1996, not OK now, not OK ever again. Do. Not.)<br/><br/> Now, I sound harsh. Sorry about that. Tell ya what, Stevie; for the good times, for all the years you and me went honky tonkin', for the 200-250 pages of actual pretty good Stephen King story in here, and for the fact that it's a fairly quick read (after a while you learn to skip all the "smuckings", "bools" and "bad-gunkys", conveniently cutting about 100 pages out of the story), and for the excellent phrase<br/><br/><i> ninety-eight percent of what goes on in people's heads is none of their business</i><br/><br/>I'm going to give you a 3/5 on my King scale. It's nowhere near the heights, but it's got miles and miles on Cell and Dreamcatcher and it made a very long train journey less boring. So 3/5; don't thank me or I might have to rethink. You're on probation, Stevie-Boy; don't disappoint me again or it's the shed for you.
